I don't wanna say it's something you get used to, but — when you've been here as long as I have, it kinda goes with the territory. [ She never thought she'd have to make a list for this place, a unique set of names of those she's lost, but she's had to add to it over the months she's been here.
So far, though, none of them have come back the way Clarke has, returned with no memory of the time she'd been here before — and she honestly can't decide what would be worse, to be reunited with an old friend who can't remember you at all or to realize you'll never see them again. There's a grateful smile on her lips, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, even if she does turn her wrist so that her hand more closely interlocks with Bellamy's, fingertips a light press at the underside of his wrist. ]
Yeah. Not exactly, but — someone I know, someone I met here, he disappeared right after we left the fort. After the explosion. I thought he'd been taken, or worse in the chaos of it all, but it turned out he'd just gone home. He vanished for a week, but he lived out a whole year in his own world, and when he got back, a lot of things were... different. He told me he'd had no memory of being here the entire time he was gone. Everything that we — that he'd done here — forgotten in an instant.
[ She's tried not to dwell too much on what that means, that if or when she has to go back to Purgatory it means erasing the memories of the people she's come to know and care about here, forgetting everything and everyone she can't take with her. It means she's tried to cling that much harder to those people, knowing the inevitable. ] It all came back to him when he did, but — something happens to the ones who disappear, who go back. Even if it's only for a little while. Even if they were here before. It's really put a lot of things into perspective for me, lately, realizing that the same thing could happen to me.
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So far, though, none of them have come back the way Clarke has, returned with no memory of the time she'd been here before — and she honestly can't decide what would be worse, to be reunited with an old friend who can't remember you at all or to realize you'll never see them again. There's a grateful smile on her lips, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes, even if she does turn her wrist so that her hand more closely interlocks with Bellamy's, fingertips a light press at the underside of his wrist. ]
Yeah. Not exactly, but — someone I know, someone I met here, he disappeared right after we left the fort. After the explosion. I thought he'd been taken, or worse in the chaos of it all, but it turned out he'd just gone home. He vanished for a week, but he lived out a whole year in his own world, and when he got back, a lot of things were... different. He told me he'd had no memory of being here the entire time he was gone. Everything that we — that he'd done here — forgotten in an instant.
[ She's tried not to dwell too much on what that means, that if or when she has to go back to Purgatory it means erasing the memories of the people she's come to know and care about here, forgetting everything and everyone she can't take with her. It means she's tried to cling that much harder to those people, knowing the inevitable. ] It all came back to him when he did, but — something happens to the ones who disappear, who go back. Even if it's only for a little while. Even if they were here before. It's really put a lot of things into perspective for me, lately, realizing that the same thing could happen to me.