[ He knows he's thought about it a lot. Probably too much, if he's honest. If his heart ruled his head like before, he would have told her everything the first day of her return.

'I don't know' was the answer he was most afraid of hearing. Either a no or a yes could have helped influence him - not that he holds it against her for not knowing how she'd react. It's a damn confusing, complicated situation to be in. Or maybe he's just making it more complicated than it needs to be by approaching the situation rationally. ]

Maybe not all the time... [ Maybe there are moments with Emma where it feels like the closest thing to a normal life on the ground he never got to experience back home, without guns, without fighting, with a whole lot of affection from her (more than he thinks he deserves) - and it's living, not surviving. ] But sometimes it's hard to switch off survival mode.

[ He snorts a little at the last of what she says. ] Oh, I'm counting on that. But then I'm used to things blowing up in my face catastrophically. [ He manages a smile, like at least he sees the humor in his misfortune. ]