[it's still hard for her to believe she makes it six years so with bellamy repeating that fact and telling her that he is proud of her is something that takes her by surprise. she wasn't sure what she was expecting but it wasn't anything close to bellamy telling her that. from something she would normally be telling him like she had much earlier in their conversation, she is speechless for once feeling emotionally overwhelmed by his words. it's only been been two months for her not six years so she doesn't think she is quite deserving of him being proud of her especially since she feels she can't really take all the credit for that either]
Yeah, maybe but it's not something I've lived through yet. I'd still have another 2132 days to go. [was she counting down the days until they reunite? maybe. except it doesn't quite register with her that her mental calculation of that implies as much from her words. technically bellamy was right that they should be used to being separated because it wasn't the first time they've dealt with this by choice or otherwise but this time felt so much harder for her not knowing what actually happened to her friends] It doesn't make it any easier being apart even if we should be used to it.
[maybe knowing he was alive and that the others had made it would have helped but of course it figures that it's only something she was able to find out by reuniting with them in this place instead. she lets out and a sigh and hearing his question about her radio calls, she finds herself falter with her words looking a bit flustered because of her own confession feeling a bit uncertain about admitting as much.
maybe he thought it was stupid or even crazy because she was essentially having one sided conversation with herself pretending to talk to him. there were days she even thought that if she's being honest but strangely it meant everything to her and it was almost like a lifeline for her through day that passed. it takes her a moment but she just nods at first before she answers his question] Yeah, I did. Every day. I didn't know for sure that it didn't work just like I wasn't sure whether you made it but I kept trying and holding onto hope that one day maybe it would reach you. [she pauses for a moment, taking another breathe to steady herself and keep her emotions in check]
It wasn't just to call your name, I would actually talk to you kind of like we are now in a way. [except more one sided but she feels that kind of goes unsaid. she knows that if he did receive any of the calls he wouldn't be as surprised as he was or ask what she said to him during that time either. she absently bites her lip out of nervousness before she looks back up towards him] I guess it made me feel closer to you even if we were apart and it helped keep me going so we could see each other again.
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Yeah, maybe but it's not something I've lived through yet. I'd still have another 2132 days to go. [was she counting down the days until they reunite? maybe. except it doesn't quite register with her that her mental calculation of that implies as much from her words. technically bellamy was right that they should be used to being separated because it wasn't the first time they've dealt with this by choice or otherwise but this time felt so much harder for her not knowing what actually happened to her friends] It doesn't make it any easier being apart even if we should be used to it.
[maybe knowing he was alive and that the others had made it would have helped but of course it figures that it's only something she was able to find out by reuniting with them in this place instead. she lets out and a sigh and hearing his question about her radio calls, she finds herself falter with her words looking a bit flustered because of her own confession feeling a bit uncertain about admitting as much.
maybe he thought it was stupid or even crazy because she was essentially having one sided conversation with herself pretending to talk to him. there were days she even thought that if she's being honest but strangely it meant everything to her and it was almost like a lifeline for her through day that passed. it takes her a moment but she just nods at first before she answers his question] Yeah, I did. Every day. I didn't know for sure that it didn't work just like I wasn't sure whether you made it but I kept trying and holding onto hope that one day maybe it would reach you. [she pauses for a moment, taking another breathe to steady herself and keep her emotions in check]
It wasn't just to call your name, I would actually talk to you kind of like we are now in a way. [except more one sided but she feels that kind of goes unsaid. she knows that if he did receive any of the calls he wouldn't be as surprised as he was or ask what she said to him during that time either. she absently bites her lip out of nervousness before she looks back up towards him] I guess it made me feel closer to you even if we were apart and it helped keep me going so we could see each other again.